Hating her life in the Bide-A-While retirement home, Alice imagines she’s Endora her favourite character in “Bewitched”, the 1960’s TV series she watches every morning on the home’s TV set with fellow residents and her best friend Carmen - who is wheelchair bound. She’s now convinced she’s been involved as a witch in the latest crisis at the home.

A mass poisoning at lunch during which two women die on a weekend when the home was understaffed. Evil Mrs Jellicoe who’s been exploiting the home for years is trying to put a spin on this disaster. And also deal with a frantic phone call for outside help that was made by Alice and Carmen. Her side-kick Denzil is delegated to keep an eye on them, until inspectors from the Dept of Aging in Canberra are placated. However, thanks to Alice’s surprising new-found powers as a witch, Denzil is forced to confess what nasty stuff he and Mrs Jellicoe have been doing for years at the home. Alice’s reaction to that surprises everyone. In the ensuing battle to save themselves and their fellow residents, Alice and Carmen’s favourite young nurse Kim proves to be an unexpected ally. So too does Agnes Moorehead the American actress who played Endora in the TV series – she returns from beyond the grave to ‘take over’ Alice and get a few things off her chest, as well as expose and defeat Mrs Jellicoe and Denzil. With the help of the Dept of Aging men who arrive from Canberra, evil is defeated and a happy ending comes about in which Kim plays a part. Agnes Moorehead returns to beyond leaving a slightly bewildered Alice to enjoy the rest of her life with her best friend Carmen – freed at last from having to live in a retirement home.

  • fantasy, black comedy
  • 90
  • 5 total
  • 4 female identifying, 1 male identifying
  • all ages
  • young adult, adult, all ages
  • Australian Plays Transform


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Female | 60+ | Unspecified
Starts on page 33

EXTRACT: I used to think, maybe it’s just me. (beat) You know, the old railing against the young. - But today’s young people really are rude, selfish little shits, most of the time. There’s no consideration for anyone, other than one’s self in this new, pragmatic society, big business has constructed for us. They don’t need us wrinklies. - Our experience counts for nothing, we’re costing them money and taking up space. We’re utterly useless, unless they can get a dollar value out of us. (she thinks) Someday... someone is going to make a lot of money turning us all into Solient Green for the starving masses in Africa.

Mrs Jellicoe

Female | 50s | Unspecified
Starts on page 57

EXTRACT: ..YES! Yes. Oh, yessss! (she turns to look at them all) There is no measure on this earth can express the depths of hatred I have grown to have for all you old people! Complaining, whining, dribbling, doddering old farts. (beat) After all these years of catering to your incredibly devious ways I have come to the conclusion that you exploit me and mine, as much as we exploit you. ...The oldest crocodiles are always the most successful.

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