You can take five locals virtually locked out of their Outback pub by a bunch of city-slickers up from Sydney who, deep into the grog, start offering money for the best local yarn. You could take it that these five, gathered around Pop, are used to being virtually locked out of their pub even in the best of times, and have their own jealously-guarded places out on the back porch. So you might wonder why they have their backs up this day.

The answer to all their resentment is not so much being kept out from their local by the up-‘emselves city-ites, but is mainly because what tomorrow is going to bring is more than a man can bear… Tomorrow, the bulldozer is coming to tear down their beloved drinking-hole. And it’s not the extra half-a-block walk to the next pub as you might think; it’s the principle of the bloody cow of a thing… one of their own mates is going to be driving the bulldozer! If that’s not total sacrilege, then it’s still enough to drive a man to drink that he can’t afford until next payday.

And if that wasn’t enough to get on a bloke’s goat, the cold beer’s running out on this last of all days to end days because of the great gutzing of the city slickers inside. How about that for coming the ruination of the environment? To come the raw prawn worse, what with all the city-slicker money being bandied about, Shirl the barmaid is turning her own tap off for the locals and turning it on for the Sydneysiders. Even the sacred bottle stash for tomorrow’s breakfast isn’t sacrosanct from their own selves’ thieving hands. How desperate can a human being get?

  • yarn telling
  • 120
  • 5 total
  • 5 male identifying
  • 18+
  • adult
  • Australian Script Centre


You can preview the full online text with a Membership


Male | 50s | over 10 minutes
Starts on page 88

EXTRACT: But do you know that bloody cow kept sticking her head through those fence wires and leaning her weight against them and walking past the gap I’d left for her to sail on through, until she gave up and wandered off. Clever, you wouldn’t read about it. And the thing was I never did get a go at that bloody cow.

Adult language, Adult themes

Search for details of past productions at

AusStage provides an accessible research facility for investigating live performance in Australia.

Search by play title and/or playwright name
Results will open in a new window

PLEASE NOTE: You will be directed to for search results; Australian Plays Transform is not responsible for their completeness. Refer to our terms of use.

SKU: ASC-1834 Category:

We acknowledge that we live and create on unceded lands. We pay our respects to the First Peoples of Australia, and to their elders past, present and future.

© Australian Plays Transform 2024