I Really Don’t Care allows us to spend an evening with the Melania you never knew - unleashed, for the first time, from the bonds of White House protocol (if such a thing still exists in the era of Trump). Aside from the occasional inflammatory jacket or a word or two on cyber-bullying, she remains an enigma. Is she an almost-innocent bystander, suddenly trapped within the maelstrom of US politics or, alternatively, a self-serving tactician with looks that open doors? Outrageous, hilarious yet, ultimately, strangely moving, I Really Don’t Care lets you wear ‘that jacket’ for an hour and gives us a fresh perspective on how we got to where we are today.

  • cabaret
  • 60
  • 1 total
  • 1 female identifying
  • gender, women
  • 18+
  • young adult, adult
  • Australian Script Centre


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Melania Trump

Female | 40s | under 3 minutes
Starts on page 28

EXTRACT: Love under Communism is considered a luxury item. Love makes you vulnerable. Vulnerability is a luxury. It requires trust. Under Communism, you can trust no-one. Try growing up in the steel-grey suburbs of a Communist state. See if you can detect even a whiff of hope in the air. And see if there’s any way you’d stay there if you were given half a chance to get out. I was given that chance. By virtue of my looks. And, of course, the collapse of the Soviet empire. And so I escaped. To Milan, to Paris, then on to America.

Melania Trump

Female | 40s | under 3 minutes
Starts on page 2

EXTRACT: Ever had one of those days you thought would never end? (giant, exaggerated groan) I’ve been up since five this morning. First the hair. Then the makeup. Then it’s Donald – head in the door. Doesn’t like the hair. Wants it down. Sexier that way. So the hair goes down. Then the earrings go on. Pendants. Donald’s head. In and out like a cuckoo. Says I look cheap. Hair goes back up again. Earrings back to studs. Darker lipstick. Put on the dress. Donald’s head. Can’t do pink – not since Jackie in Dallas. Why not? Bad karma.



Produced as part of the Melbourne Cabaret Festival from 27 - 29 June 2019. Written by Ron Elisha Musical director/pianist Meg Hickey Directed by Suzanne Heywood Performed by Kate Yaxley

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