Arty is huge. Ginormous. Morbidly and grossly obese, he’s in need of a gastric bypass to save his life. At over 400 kilos, he’s the world’s fattest teenager.
Arty is also being followed by a reality TV crew. Will he lose the kilos needed to have the op? Will he survive to eat another cream puff? Will Louise, his Pathways-to-Work officer, transform his life in ways he never imagined?
Unapologetically satiric, Beached is also the moving story of a man imprisoned in his own body. It lays bare the mercenary nature of reality TV, and turns the microscope on society’s insatiable appetite for human misery.
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Gender Unspecified | 20s | Unspecified
Starts on page 5
EXTRACT: In the life Artyâ€™s living in his head he is An explorer Intrepid He likes the word intrepid His body is hard and brown and lean He has facial hair A sexy, roguish beard â€™cause you donâ€™t have to shave in the Amazon And heâ€™s with his sidekick Pedro He and Pedro have been together for ages, doing this kind of thing, not shaving and being sexy without trying, sleeping under the stars and caving down underwater river systems that lead to the Lost City of Z and encounters with an ancient warrior tribe guarding pyramids and gold and stuff And when Arty looks at Pedro He has an intensity, a real shocking intensity that says, â€˜I know who I am and Iâ€™m a man and I matterâ€™ And Pedro respects and loves Arty and theyâ€™ve been friends so long they forgot where they met (some bar in Rio drunk on cachaÃ§a over a poker game that got dangerous when SeÃ±or Gangster Thug refused to accept he was beat and he wore a wide-brimmed hat A white hat of course And a white suit â€™Cause thatâ€™s what gangster thugs wear in Rio) And in this life that Artyâ€™s living in his head He smiles the brilliant white-teeth smile of the movie star.
Female | 40s | under 3 minutes
Starts on page 49
EXTRACT: His dad? [She snorts.] Do you think the snort works? I donâ€™t wanna look bogan. Maybe it should be more ofâ€¦ yâ€™know, like a lion roar so Iâ€™m more powerful woman instead ofâ€¦ I know! Iâ€™ll do aâ€¦ yâ€™know, aâ€” [She sweeps her hand in a dismissive gesture.] A sorta â€˜piff!â€™. A â€˜sweep and piff!â€™ and thatâ€™ll look more like itâ€™s of so little consequence to me I just â€˜sweep and piff!â€™. [She composes herself.] His dad? [She sweeps and piffs.] I knew all along he was no prize. Five feet nothing and eyes pointing any which way but straight.
"While the premise might sound a little heady, Beached is actually a very funny, recognisable and hugely entertaining play."
"The notion of writing a play about television is one I find very interesting. When I read the blurb for Beached, I was intrigued as how they were going to realise the concept â€“ a play based round the construct of a reality TV show â€“ within a theatrical context."
"REALITY television can be a cruel and manipulative process that is more interested in sensationalising its subjects' problems than solving them. Melissa Bubnic's play Beached reveals the nastier aspects of a fictional, weight-loss reality television series called Shocking Fat Stories."
MTC Teachers' Notes: Beached