You’re sitting in a bar, a real bar, drinking, perhaps listening to some over-loud, blokey rock music, perhaps wondering why the women in the room are fondling false moustaches.

One by one, four men emerge from among your fellow drinkers, each with a remarkable, terrible, awful, fabulous, grotesque tale, or part thereof; each in your face, like operatic soloists, each offering strange glimpses of and into secret men’s business.

First comes Mick: steely evangelist for the Norse gods, semi-derelict, drink taken and bludging for more, he preaches Odin’s part in bringing poetry to the world.

Then come the recollections of W.A.J.C “Twirler” Lingfield whose bloody and bizarre experiences in the service of our land bring strange engagements and satisfactions.

Malfunctioning Robbie is happy to spend his final hours quietly in your company but the odious Cec - henchman of corrupt media mogul Clewster Neuting - feels a form of justice snapping at his heels and doesn’t like than at all.

When you’ve met this quartet perhaps it will become clear why the blokes want these dark portraits and desolate landscapes kept to themselves.

  • black comedy
  • 70
  • 4 total
  • 4 male identifying
  • 18+
  • adult
  • Australian Script Centre


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Male | Teen | over 10 minutes
Starts on page 11

EXTRACT: We knew we were soiled, all the kids knew: reject, third-rate freak human/ discards and virtually worthless, there was never a doubt - but that could/ cover crimes to a depth of many deepnesses./ There was never any question of adoption and Ramsbottom and the other /staff seem to think we should be thankful all round./ Not many lasted, only me really. I lasted longest. The other kids, usually between twelve and sixteen at any given muster,/ looked up to me because I survived and looked and sounded most normal.

Adult themes


Male | Unspecified | over 10 minutes
Starts on page 17

EXTRACT: Every time they fell in a fucking wossname, same story. Exactly./ This better fucking work, that's all./ Fucking products!/ Anyway, come to my attention I could soon be deeply and savagely rooted by/ bastards so I'm recording this. Revenge. All hands to the pumps./ Pack of bastards./ Not just revenge. Maybe escape. Any day now some nasty cunt will come/ and do something nasty and cuntish if I don't. Insurance./ Matter of time. Fuck my marking words.

Adult themes, Adult language


Male | Unspecified | over 10 minutes
Starts on page 6

EXTRACT: Waffo and I flew out as observers, but, in reality, saw little and stayed in/ town making modest disbursements where necessary./ We came by intelligence if, as and when./ It was a slow but sensible way and there was gin about, although notionally/ the locals were teetally toetootle./ schooled by harsh experience and frequently seen to be believed, Waffo/ and I kept what they like to call a Watching Brief while to our north-east, I/ think it was, bloody battle was joined in earnest.


Male | Unspecified | over 10 minutes
Starts on page 2

EXTRACT: Damned and bloody universe! Bastard gravity! All to buggery!/Brothers, I'm parched. Well parched./ Is there anything for it? Anything at all? /Are we fallen so far?/ It seems we are./ The road is harsh, our friends are few. The solitary way is hard but I have/ fallen among fellow travellers and bring news. Good news, my rootless/ friends, news indeed.Be of good cheer. Light in cruel darkness. Hope. Good grub and better beer./ Comfort in cold, unending night. Shelter from the obligatory storm.

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