TEARS AND THE TAIL LIGHT

$5.40 – $15.00

Even a good Samaritan with no sense of his own survival gave witness to the fact that the Sri Lankan tourist had stopped his car before hitting the Yamaha.
What the Sri Lankan tourist could never have expected, though, was a maniac leaping off the bike and screaming at him ‘The tail light, dog!’ and pointing to the road at his feet where a most crunched and sorry-looking tail light lay.
Well, that might have been within bounds, but what wasn’t was the Aussie guy ranting and raving more at the heavens and punching himself in the face with clenched fists, and having great ‘goitre’ balls of bandages wrapped around his feet… although the way they smelt, they could have been blue-vein cheese not feet. And, also, those swarms-within-swarms of mosquitoes sawing around his head and those feet of his… some of them, the Sri Lankan swore, wielding knives and forks and/or pneumatic drills attached to their proboscis.
The Aussie didn’t introduce himself as Tear Nimal, just took him hostage until the next day. By then he expected someone to pay a ransom for the hhffrukken Sri Lankan to cover the cost of the tail light in theory. The theory didn’t work out and the Sri Lankan found himself let go, although terribly verbally abused and having had to witness the trauma-making sight of Tears punching himself silly trying to get half Nature’s mosquito population off him.
And there, matters might have ended had not, one year later over in Cairns, Tears pulled the same tried’n’proven tail-light caper right outside the café where the Sri Lankan tourist was working at the time and holding a machete.

APT